The Difference a Year Makes

May Day 2012.  It's an official holiday (Labor Day, aka International Workers' Day) for much of the world. Given that industrialized nations with the strongest labor unions also have the highest standards of living and are booming economically for the most part, I have never understood why so many people in my home country seem to have swallowed the myth that labor unions are bad. As union strength and membership there have dwindled since the 1950s, many worker protections have either diminished significantly or have become entirely non-existent. Back to the future indeed. And not in a good way.

But the weather this morning has put me into an introspective mood. In the mornings, I have been sidestepping the April showers that seem to be continuing into May this year in order to get some needed exercise on my trusty Trek. Today was no exception. This morning, the clouds actually came down to perch on the lake or to sit so close to its surface that it seemed like the same thing.

Something about this put me in a nostalgic mood. One year ago, for example, I was completing my final preparations for the journey to Italy where I would join HWMBO and several fellow travelers for our exceptionally beautiful walking tour of the northern Italian lakes. This year, HWMBO is in the final stages of his preparation for a visit to China with a community college group. It will be a wonderful experience for him and I have only myself to blame - if blame should be assigned at all - for not being able to accompany him on what would have been a "first" for us both.

After the visit to Italy, he returned with me to my lovely Swiss haven by the lake and stayed here until my niece and her friend joined me here while they attended summer courses in French at the University of Geneva. This year, I will not see him in person before early July. Thank heavens for Skype. As for my niece, she is spending this college term on an internship in Amman, Jordan. She is becoming a fine young woman, a real credit to her mother and dad as well as to herself.

But along with the positive, this year finds the world short of a few people who have made positive differences in the world and who represented milestones in contemporary culture. These are always difficult ones to lose when there are too many left behind who do not contribute at all to humankind's well-being. But this year is also significant because two people, both of whom made significant positive differences in my own life, have left this world.

One was a former boyfriend, who may involuntarily have played a role in my ultimate career choice. After once believing that we would marry, we went our separate ways. His led him to the Orient, mine led me to North Africa and from there our destinies took their separate courses. As happens with so many who were close when they were younger, we reconnected in later years, in our case, the mid-80s. As with me, he had left an unfortunate marital situation behind. He had raised his daughter essentially as a single parent, as I had my sons in the years before I met and married HWMBO. At a turning point in his life when he contacted me,  he later informed me that my response - and especially the success of my remarriage - had heartened him to the point where he reached out, met and married someone new who turned out to be the love of his life. Together they made their first visit to Europe last summer. He looked forward to returning.

Unfortunately, their happy years together were tragically interrupted earlier this year when he, during a routine workout at his health club, collapsed suddenly with a cerebral hemorrhage so massive that the doctors could do nothing. He died a week later, without ever regaining consciousness.

In mid-April, another very significant person, my Aunt L, passed away. She had earlier this year been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. As a former medical professional, she understood all too well the death sentence that awaited her. Being very strongly of the opinion that too many medical procedures are used unduly to prolong the lives of the elderly, she refused to undergo any medical treatment other than painkillers at the end. Finally, as my Cousin N described it, the chariot swung low enough to pick her up. By then it was a mercy. But that doesn't mean that we miss her any less.

She spent her last few days in the hospice where both of my parents died, several years back. The hospice was new then; by now it has hosted many - too many - people I have known well, all of whom have moved beyond this world since. I consider that my Aunt L, also my godmother, literally saved my life. I was well on the road to adolescent alienation and rebellion when Aunt L and Uncle A opened their home to me, thus opening my mind to new experiences, new possibilities and new horizons - exactly what was needed to keep me on track. I have always considered the two years that I spent living with them and my Cousins N and B among the happiest in my life. I also appreciated my parents' understanding in letting me go, which was exactly what I needed then.

But I miss them both. The world is a colder place without them.